Bless Be the Tie That Binds

I put a lot of effort into understanding the people in my life. I work hard to maintain cooperative relationships. I’ve learned a lot from my observations and experiences with my family and friends. Here, I’m using a situation with a couple of my relatives as an example of a serious and troublesome aspect about the relationship between religion and politics in America. My story illustrates how religion has been corrupted by the politicalization of Christianity and the church. My assertion is that the Republican religious right has promoted un-Christian ideas and values to serve a political agenda and have sacrificed the spiritual lives of the believers to this political agenda.

I have a couple of relatives, a married couple, who are ashamed of themselves and are currently avoiding me. These two have been active participants in their fundamentalist churches all their lives. I've seen the woman become so passionate about the evils of homosexuality she can barely speak. She preaches with loud conviction about how homosexuality is against God's law. How homosexual marriage is wrong and will destroy this Christian nation. And the worst thing, the reason above all others that homosexuality must be stopped, "What if my kids see them?!!!" There's no stopping her when she is possessed with homo-eradication mania. She won't hear any alternative opinion. She won't listen. Those who disagree with her are “deceived by Satan”. The passion of her conviction is profound. While I, of course, respect her right to hold her belief and speak her personal truth, I'm concerned about how this belief and her personal behavior fit within the values framework of Christianity. In other words, her behavior is inconsistent with the Christian values she claims to live by.

Since she isn't gay and gay individuals have no role in her life, there is no reason that homosexuality should be such an personally emotional issue for her. I've never heard her mention that white supremacists or investment bankers are immoral and should be wiped out. There are plenty of other types of sinners, but these others don’t concern her.

There is no consensus among Christians that homosexuality is a sin. There is far more agreement about sinners like cheaters, liars and thieves. She has never mentioned that a homosexual has transgressed her personally, but she complains regularly about others who do all manner of wrong to her. It makes no sense that out of all the possible sins she could campaign against, she picked homosexuality. If she feels strongly that homosexuality is sinful, then she should REFRAIN FROM PARTICIPATING IN HOMOSEXUAL ACTS. She should follow her conscience and act according to her own standard. If her child sees a homosexual couple use it as an opportunity to teach him/her to respect those who have different beliefs. This is the way she would want to be treated by those who have beliefs that are different from her beliefs. The Golden Rule.

My relatives' are prejudices are inflamed in their churches. This disturbs me. My relatives go to church several times a week, but they don't behave as Christ instructed nor do they live by the Biblical values that they claim are sacred to them. My relatives are ungenerous and greedy. They steal when they can get away with it. They are always on the lookout for what they can get, but contemptuously reject opportunities to give to those less fortunate. They overtly covet. They rarely show compassion, or have a kind word for anyone. I had long wondered how it could be that people who were in church so much could have so little Christian virtue show up in their behavior.

Occasionally, I'd chide my relatives when they would say or do un-Christian things. I'd remind them that Jesus taught his followers to love their enemies and be generous to those in need. I reminded her once when she was scheming revenge for some minor perceived wrong done to her that Jesus taught to turn the other cheek. She said, "that's not what he meant"! Needless to say, their little lights are very dim and do nothing to glorify their father , who is in heaven.

In recent years, I had not attended church with them, so I don't know the precise words they have been hearing in church. I have, though, had many occasions to hear them speak and observe their behavior. They weren’t learning anything in church that influenced them to behave according to Jesus' teachings. This doesn't mean that I didn't notice the influence of her church. I did. They clearly felt that church attendance alone was getting them quite a few gold stars by their names. They are proud of their church attendance. Occasionally, they learned in church of certain movies that Jesus didn't want their children to see. Roger Rabbit was an evil, corrupting influence on children they were told from the pulpit. As a family, they habitually watch movies and TV that had equivalent or worse language and sexual content. Except for Roger Rabbit, they never seemed concerned about the TV and movies their kids saw. Did the sacrifice of Roger Rabbit make it possible for the children to watch Real World? I wonder. Also, Jesus really likes Passion of the Christ and wants everyone to see it. And listen to contemporary Christian music on their radios. And attend mega-revivals in big arenas and wave their hands in the air. I noticed, for decades that the church had a great influence on them. And without hyperbole I can say, none of this church influence led them to be more Christ-like. They always seemed genuinely clueless about the un-Christian nature of their own behavior.

It's not just my two relatives. The kind of behavior I’m describing is common and widespread. I frequently hear or see the antics of "Christians" and wonder if they have ever read a word of the New Testament. Being a traditional Baptist, I have always been strongly opposed to the politicalization of Christianity. Usually when the effects of the religious right are discussed, the focus is on the impact of the religious right on the secular political system. My personal opinion is that this impact on secular politics is not positive, but it is part of the process I accept as a legally legitimate (that phrase may seem redundant, but it is what I mean to say) reality. The bigger concern to me is the impact of the politicalization of Christianity on the church itself.

Vocal political Christians like the late Jerry Falwell and his ilk don't talk or act like Christians to me. They talk and act more like the Pharisees that Jesus didn't like. Hypocrites. I'm a Christian. These so-called “Christians” do not represent me. My Christianity is based on the words and teachings of Christ, not the self-righteous bombast of manipulative narcissists. So often after I hear the words and witness the actions of those who most loudly and proudly proclaim themselves to be "Christians", I think, "Do they even teach the New Testament in these churches? Have these people ever read the Bible? How come so many of these "Christians" are so worried about the sins of other people instead of their own sins? Do they teach anything in these churches except the eradication of homosexuality?"

Because Christ taught that we should not judge others, and that we should get the beam out of our own eye before we help others with their splinters, I don't feel righteous enough to easily criticize others. I respect the beliefs of others. If I feel strongly about something, I will often try very hard to influence others by presenting my point of view in a rational, respectful way. But I won't coerce or manipulate anyone to behave the way I choose. Unless they change because it is their own decision, it is meaningless. I didn't speak out strongly to my relatives about their offensive un-Christian behavior until they behaved so egregiously I could no longer keep quiet.

Several months ago, instead of paying an honest man for his professional services, they, with no evidence whatsoever, denied their personal responsibility and accused this person, (who had done them a big favor by discounting his usual fees by half), of being a “crook”. Their false accusation didn't surprise me because they have reputations for greed, selfishness and getting something for nothing. Ingratitude is not Christian. Assuming entitlement to the labor of others without compensating them is not Christian. Although they had initially agreed to pay for the services, they were hoping for a freebee. When the bill came, they didn't want to pay it. It must have "felt" unfair to them to be charged for something that they hoped to get for nothing. Around the time they were trying to cheat this person of his fees, they were saying and doing other selfish things that caused serious harm to other people, including me. After practically a lifetime of observing their un-Christian behavior, but being unwilling to judge them or embarrass them by telling them how I felt about their behavior, I finally told them the truth. Which wasn’t accepted very well, I’m afraid.

So what is going on with people who claim to be Christians, go to church three or four time a week, and only listen to contemporary "Christian" music on the radio? Why do these individuals seem to be so clueless about Christ's teachings? Why do they act like Pharisees instead of humble servants of Christ? Why do they not see that Jesus said almost nothing about homosexuals, but regularly did all out Dennis Miller rants against the self-righteous hypocrites who were more concerned about the minor infractions of others than they were their own serious unrighteousness?

This kind of behavior is very common among political "Christians". They are all about forcing others to behave a certain way, all about imposing their ten ton boulder of Ten Commandments illegally on a all citizens, all about making little school children pray to their God, all about (and this may be the worst corruption and intrusion of religious manipulation into objective fact and reason) teaching creationism under the guise of "intelligent design". My relatives could not deny their behavior. The cheating, stealing, greed, judging and maligning are habits, not isolated sins. These transgressions are performed in the open for all to see. (I shudder to think what seeing this kind of behavior everyday from their parents has done to their kids! ha-ha)

When their preacher was inciting the congregation to oppose homosexuality and telling them how opposing homosexuality was what God wanted from them, and how wonderful and righteous the warriors against homosexuality are, he probably used this scripture:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (NIV).

They didn't see themselves in this verse. Why did they not see their own wickedness? I've seen the behavior over and over again over a period of many years. I have seen them regularly cheat and swindle. I have seen them steal. They talk about it. I have heard them malign and slander and bear false witness against the innocent. They have been so eager and willing to take, but so unwilling to share their own abundance. No, they just saw gay people in that verse. Isn't that interesting and odd?

Something is deeply wrong with churches. My relatives have gone to many different churches over the years. It is always the same. The same message is preached in all the churches they attend. This message is to scapegoat people who transgress differently from the way they transgress. If the preachers aren't preaching to homosexuals, then why do they emphasize this particular "sin"? He was likely to have many in his congregation who were sinning in all the other ways the verse mentions. Preachers who do this sort of thing are neglecting the real spiritual needs of their congregations. My relatives aren't gay. They are greedy, slandering thieves. This is the message they needed to hear. Shouldn't they leave church humbled and convicted to clean up their own lives instead of fired up to fight homosexuality? Of course. Of course they should have.

How can this travesty happen? I can think of a few reasons. People like my relatives don’t go to church for spiritual lessons that would lead them to be better Christians. They delude themselves into believing that they are good people because they go to church. It's hard to hear the truth when the truth isn't flattering. If the minister preached about the sins they are guilty of, they may leave church feeling guilty and ashamed. If he gives them a scapegoat in the form of a sinful other, they will leave feeling superior and righteous. They will come back to church. Maybe tithe. They have full permission from their religious authorities to avoid looking inward at their own hearts, to blame the other person, and abdicate their own responsibility for their own actions. From the pulpit they hear, " Attack this evil other. God wants you to fight against homosexuals. You will be a righteous person if you fight sin in other people." This is not Jesus' message. Jesus' message is for us to get our own hearts right with God. Jesus' message is to take the beam out of your own eye before you even think about helping another person with their tiny splinter. The “feel good, tell 'em what they want to hear, no personal responsibility” Gospel has replaced Jesus' teachings.


I understand how easy it is to manipulate people through their religious beliefs. These beliefs were often imprinted on us when we were very young. Many, if not all, of the authority figures in our lives perpetuated and reinforced these beliefs. We received approval when we embraced these beliefs. Eternal reward and eternal damnation are dependent on these beliefs.

Often people say they believe the Bible when they in fact believe an interpretation of the Bible they have been taught. The Bible is a complex text that is full of paradoxes, as all spiritual truth is. The preacher in Ecclesiastes validated this when he told us that there was a time for everything. All kinds of opposites are equally true and necessary in the totality, the all. Jesus himself said that the laws only existed because the people's hearts weren't right with God. Jesus said that if a person was acting within God's will he or she would be incapable of sin. They would have no need for rules and law.

Jesus, and the Bible in general, gives minor attention to homosexuality, but considerable attention to the infractions of the type my relatives are guilty of. This is a reasonable question: Why is homosexuality emphasized in these churches instead of the Golden Rule? The simple Golden Rule would have addressed my relatives’ transgressions.

I finally spoke up to my relatives. I told them facts about the behavior I'd witnessed. I told them how their behavior was selfish, hurtful and against the teachings of Jesus. Like the kids would say, "they were so busted". It's hard for me to believe that on some level they didn't know when they were doing wrong, but on another level they seemed genuinely surprised at how I saw them. When they attempted to justify their behavior, they seemed to realize that the lies they told themselves to rationalize their wrong behaviors, were transparent and lame to other people. Their excuses were baseless and irrational.

We tend not to say unpleasant things to people if we can avoid it. I probably don't speak up often enough about the bad behavior of others. I really believe that they didn't fully appreciate their own wrong doing. The lies they were telling themselves to justify their behavior were so lame and so without basis in any fact at all that it was embarrassing for them to speak their defenses out loud. It was like Adam and Eve when they realized that they were naked. God knew they were naked all the time. The ones who didn't know were Adam and Eve themselves. They were ashamed only after they realized that God could see through them.

My relatives have been unable to face me for many weeks now. I don't know if they are avoiding me so that they can continue to deceive themselves without changing, or if they are plotting to kill the bearer of the message they didn’t want to hear. I hope they are examining their hearts. Maybe they have dedicated themselves to the eradication of homosexuality even more deeply. I don't know. I do know that their churches have failed them spiritually by shunning the real teachings of Jesus and replacing them with shallow values, counterfeit politics and convenient scapegoats. If they eliminate Roger Rabbit from their lives and fight homosexuals, they get a pass on their own sins.

I’m trying to illustrate how Christianity and religious belief isn’t a problem. Jesus emphasized the doctrine of reciprocity, “love thy neighbor” and “The Golden Rule”. Jesus emphasized changing our hearts and looking inward. Jesus taught that God and government existed in separate realms. These are the fundamental lessons of Christ that the fundamentalists forfeit in favor of scapegoating and self-righteous hypocrisy.

I read something a while back that suggested that the church was stronger in the U.S. than it was in European countries and other countries where they have official state sanctioned religions. The writer attributed this phenomenon to the fundamental Constitutional value of separation of church and state. It should scare the bejesus out of us when people like Mike Huckabee want to change the constitution to be in line with “God’s law”. Not only would this undermine the inclusiveness of our system - a hard won inclusiveness - that is a fundamental and key aspect of that which is truly good about America, it would also further distract the church from fulfilling its true cultural role, that of serving the spiritual rather than political needs of the people.

Will you all please rise and join me in hymn number 18?


Its a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,
Perhaps they’re better left unsung.
I don’t know, don’t really care
Let there be songs to fill the air.